Birthing Classes and the Third Trimester

So I realize that this post is late late late. One thing that I can tell you for certain is that once you hit the third trimester time begins sprinting by. Since my last post there have been some major developments ....and I don't just mean my bulbous mid-section.

Let's hit the highlights! Birthing Class seems like a fun place to start.....


If phrases like "Pelvic Girdle", "Mucus Plug", and "Tearing" send you running for the hills...I suggest reading the next section with a buddy. You know for safety or someone to giggle with...


Anyway Silas and I did a 1-day marathon instead of a multi-week class. I think that the multi-week class is a great idea and if camp wasn't in the way I would have signed up in a heartbeat. Since time is an issue we had to make do with the 1-day class.


So here is the deal. There are all types of people at these classes. I was one of the youngest (Gestational-y) and there were some who I was expecting to pop-out babies right then and there. Based on how miserable these women looked sitting in metal folding chairs for hours on end, I would recommend going earlier.


Now let me tell you about one of my classmates...


Let’s calling him Bubba. Bubba and his partner started off fine. They were a little odd and a little older than most but nothing crazy...except for the socks and sandals. As the class continued the true Bubba began to emerge...

So the class begins and we all introduce ourselves. We start going through the trimesters and honestly even I was a little bored at this point. Well poor old Bubba just didn't give two hoots about the miracle of life so he began to get antsy. Cue smoke break number 1. Now here is the deal. Yes, he went outside to smoke but then he came back inside smelling like an ash tray. This continued every single break (which was often...hello a room full of women who need to pee constantly). He was...well...whatever the opposite of an air freshener is....

So after we go through the stages of pregnancy and cover the grim details of pelvic girdles wobbling and mucus plugs falling out we finally got to BIRTH.


Now at this point Bubba and wife moved to the back of the room. We watched 4 different videos about 4 different women and their 4 very different Birth stories. Now I understand that watching medical procedures isn't for everyone...even Silas was a little squirmy...but Bubba....well Bubba was GREEN.


So now Bubba is muttering and rubbing his head. He is totally grossed out. Finally, he turns his chair away from the screen. Most everyone just ignored his discomfort but things escalated when we got to practicing pain management for natural birth. For those of you who don’t know, this is the part you see in movies. This is the breathing with blankets and pillows on the floor. Your partner is instructed on how to help you focus, but the best part is the massage. Yes this wonderful instructor teaches your partner massage techniques. It was amazing …but not for Bubba. We did eventually switch so that the partners could feel the difference between the different techniques. Well after Bubba pronounced that “this is more like it”, he begins to nod off. 1 hour later Bubba is now full on napping on the blanket and pillow while the rest of us are learning about intervention techniques.  


Oh, and in case you were wondering…yah Bubba snores.


So my summary in a nut shell? The classes can be helpful. I did learn a lot and the hospital tour was informative. If your class has a Bubba all I can say is, I am sorry.