Archer's Birth Story - Part 1

I realize that I am writing most of these posts in hindsight and like any event that has passed some details fade and things start to get a little rosey. I will try to keep this as true to the facts as I can. Of course there will be some mushy-gushy lovey-dovey moments but there are also some moments that I hope fade into that rosey glow...

So August has arrived and I am no longer sleeping. The nesting instinct is so strong that I beg my husband to hang a shelf at 10:30 on a week night. Camp should be declining into those lazy hot end of summer days but instead things seem to be operating at "All Systems GO". After a particularly long week my Friday was filled with drama and discomfort. At the end of the day I plop down in a chair by my also-super-pregnant friend and jokingly say, "I hope this baby comes this weekend so that all this discomfort is for a reason."

Well JOKES ON ME.

Let's back up a bit and get to the gross details. (You've been warned)

My 8 months check up was super easy. Had a swab that was a bit intimate but hey they need to run some tests to make sure you don't pass anything icky on to your baby on their way out. At this point that area was pretty much old news for everybody so I wasn't too phased by it. Anywho the only comment that had me thinking "wow I'm getting close" was that it seemed like the baby was out of room. I have an extremely short mid section and baby had no where else to really go. My OB wished me restful nights and sent me on my way with a "see you in two weeks!". She was wrong....

Fast forward a week and....(Gross part shield your eyes!)....I lose my mucus plug. CUE INSANE GOOGLE SEARCHING.

So what I found was that it is very common to lose and doesn't really mean too much. Although, I did have a friend who told me that it only took 3 days from plug to labor. So I figured I had anywhere from 3 days to 4 weeks until baby arrived.

Two days later on that horrible Friday, I went to a party at my sister's house. I nibbled and lounged but couldn't get comfortable. I was constantly flushed and sticky. (which is not really unusual for a pregnant lady in August) So as the party nears its end I ask her if I can take a shower because I am gross. LADIES AND GENTS...I truly believe that shower was the start of my labor. I stood under the warm water and swayed to stay comfortable. I then put of a pair of borrowed basketball shorts, stayed for about an hour, and went home to pretend to sleep. Since I was feeling funny I put down a bed liner and did my best to relax.

Later that night I got up to use the restroom and (Gross part again!) I get a warm little trickle. I think "Damn it! Now I am going to pee a little every time I get up" WRONG...but I didn't know that yet.

Saturday was relaxed and I made sure my bags were packed and ready by the door just in case the advice my friend gave me about the plug is true. That night we watched a movie and I went to bed. The first time I got up...warm little trickle. Second time I get up...warm little trickle. Third time around 8AM...bigger trickle...made it to the floor....hummmmmmmmmm

So at this point I am not sure if I am peeing myself or if my water broke. I have a friend who told me that when your water breaks you will know it because it is not subtle. So I hop in the shower and think I'm fine. No contractions, no worries. I dry off, take two steps out of the bathroom, anddddddd trickle.

 I tell my husband that I could be leaking fluid and he's all "wait, what?"

CUE GOOGLE! (What did we do before google? seriously....)

So I learned from Dr.Google that amniotic fluid smells like almonds and should be clear. And now you know what I did with the next trickle....Sure enough.. it smells like almonds. But Google is not a real doctor so I call my OB. They are very kind and joke about how it's my first. I play it off like "oh yes, silly me, it probably pee." Anywho they want to run a quick test. They tell me to come into the hospital (NO RUSH...they actually said NO RUSH).  So ok cool, I'll eat breakfast. We let the dog out and text the family that I am going in for a test. Grab a coffee on the way and listen to some music. (In hindsight...this is a huge blessing. We were calm, collected, and relaxed.)

The OB told me to enter the hospital through the ER instead of coming right up to Maternity. So I think man....this is totally pee and I am an idiot. I of course did some googling and found that it is rare to leak amniotic fluid and is much more likely for your water to break. (which, side note, is also kind of rare. Usually they break it in the hospital) At this point I am preparing myself to be super embarrassed when they run a test and have to tell me that I'm just peeing myself.

So we enter through the ER and check in. Maybe two seconds later a man with a wheel chair arrived and he Speed-Racers me up to Maternity......cue butterflies. This is the exact moment where I thought "Omg what if I am having a baby?" which was immediately followed by "Omg what if I made this man push me all they way up here because I'm peeing myself."

So they take me to triage. I get super lucky and my regular OB is scheduled so I get to see a friendly face who might not judge me too much for my incontinence. Anyway she asks me a million questions one of which was "are you having contractions" to which I replied "nope". They then strapped on the monitor and sure enough...contractions were happening. NEWS TO ME. If those were contracts, I think I was having them since that shower on Friday night.

So the doctor takes a swab and leaves. Nurse tells me we will have an answer is a matter of minutes. So while I am chatting away with hubby who cant believe we are hear because I peed on the floor, I am preparing for extreme embarrassment.

In comes doctor. She sits down smiles and says. "So you're having a baby today, probably around dinner time"

TBC in Part 2!

Baby Showers, False Labor, and Waddles

So I realize that I it has been many many months since these events were current, but I feel like July was yesterday. I dont want to skip over this last trimester to wrap up with a birthing story...but trust me it is coming!

In the meantime here are some highlights!

BABY SHOWERS:

Ok here is the thing. Everyone likes baby showers. They are a million times better than wedding showers. I had a STUNNING baby shower. My sister, Mom, and BFF planned a wonderful and personalized event. Since I was not part of the planning I can only offer my advice as the guest of honor.

1) Have it early. Meaning dont wait until you are a beached whale. I was the perfect level of pregnant. (7 months) I was clearly showing, but I could still stand and move around with ease. I did wear flats but come-on who wouldn't.

2) Get an outfit that highlights your bump. Just do it. Now is the time to splurge. You want to look at those pictures and think YUP that's what pregnant me looks like!

3) Ask for books. My very smart party planners asked for books instead of cards. I LOVED this idea and have a wonderful time putting together a little baby library.

4) Thank people as you go around the room. If you think writing thank you notes is hard after a wedding wait until you're trying to spell at 7 months pregnant. (I can't even spell on a good day.) Let people know you are thankful now so they will forgive you when your Thank Yous are late.

5) Open all your gifts and make a fuss. Seriously, everyone loves baby stuff. I HATE opening gifts in front of people but I promise opening baby gifts is different. The gift below was custom made by my in-laws. I carried it around to each table because it is stunning. (Yes those a pooh ears...we had a theme!)

FALSE LABOR:

Now my family accused me of being a big ol' Diva for not wanting anyone to travel in the month of July. As you may know peak season for me is the summer so I was very stressed and would often find that I had skipped meals or was on my feet for too long. One day I reached the breaking point and had some super fun contractions. In hindsight these were likely Braxton Hicks contraction but I did need to sit with my feet up and drink lots of water. Once I was able to calm down they went away and I slept for a loooong time.

Here is what they don't tell you. 1) you are going to feel like an idiot calling your OB and descibing a sensation that you've never had and don't know how to describe. The most important thing is the interval between contractions. If they are consistent or even worse getting closer together....it could be go time! Mine were super inconsistent and did eventually fade. 2) They are going to scare the heck out of you. Everyone said that Braxton Hicks contractions don't hurt. I am calling BS right now. 3) You will begin to nest like a mad women afterwards.



WADDLES:

The 8th month of pregnancy is just full of discomfort. You don't really sleep anymore and even eating can be uncomfortable since your stomach is shoved up under your ribs. One of my favorite parts of this stage was that my babe would push his bum out and I could clearly feel his little butt cheeks. I could also make him move when ever I wanted by drinking something cold. Below is the last picture while baby was on the inside. I didn't know it at the time but this was the night I would start labor.

Birthing Classes and the Third Trimester

So I realize that this post is late late late. One thing that I can tell you for certain is that once you hit the third trimester time begins sprinting by. Since my last post there have been some major developments ....and I don't just mean my bulbous mid-section.

Let's hit the highlights! Birthing Class seems like a fun place to start.....


If phrases like "Pelvic Girdle", "Mucus Plug", and "Tearing" send you running for the hills...I suggest reading the next section with a buddy. You know for safety or someone to giggle with...


Anyway Silas and I did a 1-day marathon instead of a multi-week class. I think that the multi-week class is a great idea and if camp wasn't in the way I would have signed up in a heartbeat. Since time is an issue we had to make do with the 1-day class.


So here is the deal. There are all types of people at these classes. I was one of the youngest (Gestational-y) and there were some who I was expecting to pop-out babies right then and there. Based on how miserable these women looked sitting in metal folding chairs for hours on end, I would recommend going earlier.


Now let me tell you about one of my classmates...


Let’s calling him Bubba. Bubba and his partner started off fine. They were a little odd and a little older than most but nothing crazy...except for the socks and sandals. As the class continued the true Bubba began to emerge...

So the class begins and we all introduce ourselves. We start going through the trimesters and honestly even I was a little bored at this point. Well poor old Bubba just didn't give two hoots about the miracle of life so he began to get antsy. Cue smoke break number 1. Now here is the deal. Yes, he went outside to smoke but then he came back inside smelling like an ash tray. This continued every single break (which was often...hello a room full of women who need to pee constantly). He was...well...whatever the opposite of an air freshener is....

So after we go through the stages of pregnancy and cover the grim details of pelvic girdles wobbling and mucus plugs falling out we finally got to BIRTH.


Now at this point Bubba and wife moved to the back of the room. We watched 4 different videos about 4 different women and their 4 very different Birth stories. Now I understand that watching medical procedures isn't for everyone...even Silas was a little squirmy...but Bubba....well Bubba was GREEN.


So now Bubba is muttering and rubbing his head. He is totally grossed out. Finally, he turns his chair away from the screen. Most everyone just ignored his discomfort but things escalated when we got to practicing pain management for natural birth. For those of you who don’t know, this is the part you see in movies. This is the breathing with blankets and pillows on the floor. Your partner is instructed on how to help you focus, but the best part is the massage. Yes this wonderful instructor teaches your partner massage techniques. It was amazing …but not for Bubba. We did eventually switch so that the partners could feel the difference between the different techniques. Well after Bubba pronounced that “this is more like it”, he begins to nod off. 1 hour later Bubba is now full on napping on the blanket and pillow while the rest of us are learning about intervention techniques.  


Oh, and in case you were wondering…yah Bubba snores.


So my summary in a nut shell? The classes can be helpful. I did learn a lot and the hospital tour was informative. If your class has a Bubba all I can say is, I am sorry.