It isn't surprising that this time of year can be very difficult for those struggling with infertility. This will be my second Mother's Day while TTC. The first wasn't terrible. I was filled with the hope and promise that my future family was due any moment. I smiled and agreed when I was playfully teased by grandparents that "I'm next". This year it just feels different...
One part of me wants to celebrate. I have a great Mom. She is funny, smart, and can hold her whiskey like a boss. Her love of country music and obsessive need to be right never overshadow all of the wonderful things that she does and the beautiful person that she is. For her, and for all the amazing mothers I know, I will celebrate.
But the truth is....I just want to throw a giant pity-party.
I know, quit your whining! Oh, I really wish I could. I just started my 3rd round of Clomid and it's taking its toll emotionally. (Physically will take another week or two) It's still early in the "Infertility-Treatment Game," but I feel the desperation sinking in. As more and more friends are jumping on the baby-making train, it's hard not to feel left behind.
So here are my concerns for this Mother's Day. Hopefully by getting them out, we'll all feel a little better.
1) No booze. OK listen. I am not a big drinker and it doesn't really bother me that I can't drink on my meds. It bothers me that people will notice and make assumptions or they will continue to offer me drinks even though I keep turning them down. Maybe offer me a chocolate...or perhaps a hug?
2) Questions. Grandparents always mean well. Last year I was winked at and asked when the great-grands were arriving.It's hard to know what to say. I certainly don't want to lie but I am not going to spill my emotions all over a day that is meant to celebrate someone else.
3) Spontaneous Crying. I am already an overly-emotional human. Add a dash of Clomid and an uncomfortable situation and I am bound to burst at some point. I just hope we can avoid the home movies where I am forced to watch beautiful babies and a happy family. (#humblebrag)
4) Facebook. I will be avoiding it. Yes, your baby is cute. Yes, your husband appreciates you birthing his off-spring. Yes, that is a lovely ultra-sound. Your love is beautiful but I will ignore it for a day or two. I promise to "like" it all sometime next week.
5) Eggshells. More accurately, people walking on them. Some wonderful friends and family members who know my struggle might actually make it worse by drawing attention to it in public. Your support is wonderful and needed...but maybe not in front of the grandparents.
So my survival plan for Sunday.... Be like K.Stew...
Ok, so that probably wasn't the most helpful advice. For much better advice try checking out this article from a local Fertility Clinic. http://www.shadygrovefertility.com/newsletter/story/mothering_survival_tips
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