Looking for a Rainbow: You Win Some; You Lose Some

So this month is just crazy (and I am not just talking about the hormones!). Another baby born to a friend, another pregnancy announced, I was asked to be a Godmother and ecstatically agreed, and I even made a trip to Babies R Us! Tomorrow I am going to a 1-year-olds birthday party, which I am really looking forward to. (Come on, everyone loves babies...and this one is extra special)

So with all of these joys (and a few other reasons...more on that later), I think that a big part of me really thought that this was going to be the month that our rainbow came.

"Rainbows" are what people call the babies you have after a miscarriage. It's a pretty nice analogy... a rainbow comes after a storm. That's a cliche I can get behind. Plus, bonus, I find Judy Garland's voice to be pretty soothing, so in general I like the phrase.

Some people do it right....

...and some do not...

So it's a fine line. I defiantly wouldn't call a rainbow baby a "rainbow baby" if the parents haven't said it first. It's kind of like calling a kid by a nickname...you better make sure Mom and Dad are cool with it. (Never call a Richard, Dick until they introduce themselves that way....yah. Just trust me.)

Anyway things were very promising this month. I would have been due in July which is terrible timing both professionally and personally. It's my peak season for work and we are going to a family wedding on the other side of the country. I am also off to Disney in a few weeks which would limit my fun a bit. So basically, since the timing would be awful I figured...with my luck...good chance right? 

Well luckily....(unluckily?)... we did not have success this cycle. I am pretty ok with that given all of the trouble it would cause. 

But on to the good news! We have confirmed ovulation! YAY! Way to go fertility monitor you were on the money.

So these are my results from my CD21 (cycle day 21) progesterone test. Anything above 10 confirms ovulation. If you remember way back when, my levels were less than 1...so it's kind of a big deal :) Now the cycle that I found out I was pregnant my numbers were in the 20s. Progesterone levels rise after implantation (when the egg burrows into the uterine lining) so a high progesterone level is a good sign. My doctor is a firm believer that these numbers are a good indicator for pregnancy. Lucky for me, she likes to call me with the results and casts her predictions. 

(Quick happy dance for a great doc and confirmed ovulation!)

Now if you are cruising around the web googling progesterone levels ( shush some people do it! ::cough cough:: me) you are going to get a million different answers. We are all gentle snowflakes remember? Just go on what your doctor says. Some believe medicated cycles, like mine, should already be in the 20s...I say....

I have a pregnancy in my medical history, so my doctor knows much more about my levels than the internet ever will....well maybe until now....since I just told everyone....hummmm..

Anyway, It was nice hearing her say that the month wasnt successful. WHAT?! WHY, you ask? Because I did take a HPT and it was super negative. I thought maybe I just tested to early and that I'd have to wait a few more days and test again, but then the doctor called. Nothing sucks more than false-hope so it was nice that I knew early. Now I can even enjoy a glass of wine or even better....a Venti Latte...FULLY CAFFEINATED.

I am so very tired of decaf coffee.

So, long story short, I have lots of mixed emotions this month. Sure I am disappointed, but I also know that in the long run it's better. I mean come on! I'm going to DISNEY WORLD for crying out loud. What's a trip to Disney without Space Mountain? Plus we all know I live my life by Disney wisdom. And what is more fitting than this....

....See you next time friends!