A Sack with a Belt or "Maternity Fashion"

Ok So "Maternity Fashion" is a bit of an Oxymoron. Sure you can spend hours on Pintrest look at stunning pregnant women dressed to the nines but the truth is....it's all a lie!

Fiction (Photo 1)

Reality (Photo 2)

Thank you random internet woman!

Ok but seriously let's dive into Photo 1...You are going to wear your stilettos? Don't be ridiculous. I fall over now when a strong wind blows. My feet swell and I already bought some bigger shoes. Now the black leggings I will say are on-point. Comfort is key. You are also going to want a longer shirt to cover your bum because your are defiantly wearing some "sexy" maternity underwear. Hide those lines ladies! Now the deep cut V-neck (or is it just an unbuttoned button-up? I don't know fashion) ANYWHO. What I do know is that your boobs have taken on a whole new personality. If you are anything like me you ditched the underwire long long ago and opted for something that matches those granny panties...oops mean "sexy" maternity underwear. 

Now lets check out random internet lady in Photo 2. I wont lie...I went through a ton of photos to find this. Here is the thing. Yah sure, I  could find some dumpy looking lady who looks like she just wants to curl up and sleep (and believe me that's how I feel some days!) but this look is the goal if you ask me. Let's break it down. Maternity Jeans...ladies once you go maternity jean you will question everything in your life and never want to go back. I personally opt for "full panel" which means that there is stretch fabric that goes all the way up over your bump. (Time out for a confession)

CONFESSION TIME:

Hi my name is Alyssa, and I have belly envy. No really it's a thing. As a woman of larger proportions my bump is not like you find in the magazines. It is not as...perky. Also my belly button hasn't popped into that tell-tale "Oh man, that lady's not fat, she's pregnant!" look. Believe it or not it makes me very uncomfortable. Now I don't have this but I was very worried I would. There is situation that they call the "B belly". Most pregnant women have a nice round capital D shaped belly. In many plus size women you can actually get a B shaped belly or a double belly. (Which does sound 10X worse than double chin). This was a very real concern of mine in the beginning. I know that is silly and that pregnancy is beautiful in all shapes and sizes, but for me this was a personal challenge that I was really unprepared for. Maybe now that you know you can prepare yourself and not be as self-conscious as I was.

(Ok time in!) So the full panel rounds out and smooths the belly and makes me feel much more comfortable. It also provides some support for your back. (Kind of like a good pair of spanx but actually comfortable). Next let me point out the layers. I go from boiling to freezing in the blink of an eye. My nose also bleeds if I try to tie my shoes...so you maybe opt for some slip-ons. Lastly see how she drew attention to her "waist" AKA smallest part of the body right under the boobs? Once you switch over to those wireless bras you will want this. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you don't want a shape. (I know round is a shape but now I am embracing this body in all of its pregnant glory!)

Ok so here are some of my outfits. The first one was what I call the sack with a belt. It's comfortable and belted at the skinny part. It doesn't sound glamorous but it's comfortable and I didn't hate it too much. This was right around 18 weeks when I was still getting used to not fitting into normal cloths. FYI this is a tough stage because people look at you like....hummmmm fat or pregnant?

OK so here is the next one where I could still wear my T shirts but need Maternity pants. As you can see by the inclusion of my face in the picture, I am starting to feel better. I am also wearing a belly band. It turns out, I hate those things. If you have a short torso...forget it. They roll like pantyhose.

BIG MOMENT- The half way point. Can you tell I feel better? Check out that definition at the "waist".

OK so yes, I have more pictures than that but I just wanted you to see the progression and that actual maternity cloths do make a difference. I was very lucky and my mom wanted to take me shopping. You will see lots of articles about how maternity cloths are a "waste of money" because they can be pricey and you only wear them for a short time. My advice is to shop the sales and get essentials- jeans (2), leggings (2), dress pants (3), flats (2), some nice tops (6-8), and sweaters (3-4) to mix and match. Old Navy, Target, and even Amazon have some great deals. (DONT FORGET YOUR 'SEXY' UNDERWEAR AND BRAS). I will say my favorite items are from Motherhood Maternity. Just a word of warning, they sell Motherhood Maternity at Macy's...Macy's coupons and sales do not apply because they are a boutique....learn from my mistake. Just go directly to the online store and shop their sales. Avoid Pea in the Pod. Holy Moley. Their prices are outrageous, the sizes are limited and you will be bullied into making a purchase. That all being said, I felt so much better once I had real maternity cloths. So for me it was 100% worth it.





So that's it that is my crazy rant about Maternity cloths. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!? See you next time!

OH! We're half way there! 20 weeks!

Today marks the first day of week 21. According to various apps baby is about the size of a banana. At our 20 weeks ultrasound we were told that baby was measuring a head (which is good!) coming in at about 14 oz.

Our ultrasounds went really well with our little ninja moving like crazy. The tech had a hard time taking pictures so many of our take-home photos are a bit strange. The doctor came in to check out a few things (again because the pictures weren't the best) but she declared that everything was looking good and that we wouldn't need to return to Maternal Fetal Medicine. Basically, this just means that there is no reason to continue as "high risk". They anticipate smooth sailing from here on out.

This is our favorite photo from the appointment. We posted it to my MiL's facebook for her Birthday. You will notice that the lower half of the baby isn't visible. We are still "Team Green" but the medical records show a healthy boy or girl. The trick now is making sure a doctor or nurse doesn't spoil the surprise. You can't believe how many stories I have heard about moms showing up at Labor and Delivery only to have a nurse proudly proclaim "are you ready to meet your little boy/girl?!" whomp whomp... end of surprise...

The 20 week ultrasound or "Anatomy Scan" is about a 45 minute appointment. Make sure you bring your partner! You get to watch your beautiful baby while they count fingers and toes, check the chambers of the heart, and so much more. It is equal parts touching and interesting. I also noticed more distinct kicking and movement after this appointment. I have been told that seeing the movement on the screen at the same time as feeling it in your body teaches your brain to recognize these "sensations" for what they really are. So that's pretty cool. I don't know if it's true or not but I am enjoying these little kicks either way.

In the mean time things seem more and more real. I am starting to feel the crunch to get things done. I have a room to paint, a fan to install, furniture to assemble, and a huge list of things I don't have that I'm pretty sure I need. Which brings me to the next piece....The baby registry...

Ok...if you think registering for a wedding is hard...this is the Olympics of registering. A lot of the products I've never heard of which I usually assume means that they aren't necessary. Then I second guess myself  and think,"but what if I can't be a good mom without this....snot sucker thingy?" Turns out there are a million resources on the internet. However, I find that the best resource is other moms.

Yes, I joined one of those facebook groups. It has about 160 members. They can be a great resource as long as you take things with a grain of salt. I have found that STM (second-time-moms) can be kind of hard on FTM (first-time-moms). Luckily, I have real life mom friends who aren't judgmental so they are certainly the best source. (YAY for friends!)

My very next post will absolutely be about maternity cloths. It is a whole new world my friends! I may never wear real pants again! See you next time!

Second Trimester- Month 4!

Ok So here we are in week 18! I am sorry this post took so long! It turns out weeks 14-17 were really hard. So I didn't really have time or energy to reflect on Month 4 until now. The internet tells you that your symptoms are supposed to ease and you may even regain some of your sex-drive. I am going to call a big old BS on that. I had a horrible time trying to sleep, constant headaches, nausea was back, and, something fun and new, terrible sciatic nerve pain. There was also a week where it felt like someone took a hammer to my hip bones. So I give month 4 two thumbs way way down.


Here is a handy little chart about Sciatic nerve pain. It was so very painful. I actually went for a prenatal massage and watched some videos about stretching. ( I then did the stretches...I didn't just watch a video and wait for magic) The combination of that and sleeping with a pregnancy pillow finally gave me some relief.

Headaches and nausea are trickier since you can really only take Tylenol. Really what I needed was to go home and sleep. I did use a good amount of vacation and sick days.The trick is making sure that you eat the moment you are hungry. I am actually struggling with weight loss right now so eating constantly is now imperative.

Another big milestone for month 4 was a glucose test. As someone who is over weight there is an increased risk of gestational diabetes. As a result us bigger ladies are often asked to take this test twice. Once at the beginning of the 2nd trimester and again at the beginning of the 3rd.

Here is how it works. You drink this horrible sugar water. (pictured below). You have 20 minutes to finish it without getting sick. If you get sick...you get to start over. Then you sit and wait for an hour while you body tries its hardest to deal with the sugar assault. (Mine was orange flavored which is a million times better than lemon lime...believe me if you get lemon lime...ask for orange)

Anyway after the hour your blood is drawn and your insulin levels are checked. Here is a handy chart!

Folks...I am going to tell you that so far my proudest moment in this pregnancy was CRUSHING the test. My sugars came back normal. Hopefully I wont have to test again in the 3rd trimester (yah the results were that good.) BTW where it says "My Scores" is just an example...my results were better.

We also got the results of our genetic testing. (No I don't know the gender...it's a surprise!)  We got great news which is that we are in the lowest percentile for all genetic disorders. So here is to a happy and health baby!

Ok so not a lot happened in this last month but it was really exhausting. I will say that I am official huge. I cant wait for the 20 week anatomy scan, getting the nursery under way, and getting even bigger!

First Trimester = the worst and best thing ever

So I realize I've really only experienced the first trimester, but I can promise it's pretty wild. Before we get started I want to make sure everyone knows how the weeks of pregnancy work. Here is a handy-dandy chart!

So here is the super weird thing about calculating due dates and how many weeks along you are. You need to actually start counting from the first day of your last period. That begins week 1. So technically your first few weeks of pregnancy, you aren't even pregnant. I know it's weird.

Disclaimer time! Below is my personal experience. Every person is different and every pregnancy is different. Also, as always...I am not a doctor.

Month 1 (week 1 - 4)
Ok so you aren't even pregnant yet, technically, but if you were anything like me you were planning like you were (no drinking, no caffeine, lots of water and veggies etc...I'm using "no" loosely but you get the idea) That first week (AF week); that was my "wine week". After that the Baby Dancing happens from week 2-3. Week 4 is when you begin obsessively peeing on sticks.

The first week of pregnancy (and I don't mean the weird weeks before you conceive that they count as part of the 40 weeks. I mean you have been pregnant for a few days or by the doctor's terms week 4), you will feel like death. During my first pregnancy I thought I had the flu, missed 3 days of work, and fell down inside a CVS. This time around I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. My whole body hurt and I just wanted to sleep all day. Luckily I only missed one day of work this time and I did not embarrass myself in any public places. The good news is that this passes in a few days and you switch over to just being tired. You will be super excited and terrified. I can promise that when you see that second line you will be a mix of so many emotions that it wont seem real.

Month 2 (week 5 - 9)
When you excitedly pick up the phone to call you OB you may be underwhelmed with the reaction you receive. Most offices will not see you until week 8. If you do request to come in to confirm your pregnancy they will have you take a regular pee on a stick pregnancy test and probably mark your file as "crazy-pants". Sometimes they will do a blood test if you have a history of miscarriage or low progesterone. My advice is to call, book your 8 week appointment, and do your best not to freak out. Now at this point in my pregnancy we told a few very close friends and family members. It was Christmas and the joy made me do it!

 All the joy

Weeks 5 - 7 I didn't feel much different. In fact, it can be kind of scary because you don't really "feel pregnant". As someone who suffered a loss before I can tell you it is an extra scary time. After all, there is a reason the OB makes you wait 8 weeks to come in. I did take some extra pregnancy tests to make sure things were progressing. Basically you are looking for the line to get darker or you can get one of those super fancy week predictor tests.

This is what they look like. This test means you have been pregnant for 2-3 weeks... so in doctor's terms weeks 5-6.

At the 8 week mark you have your "new pregnancy appointment" which is your longest appointment. Don't be surprised if you are booked with a nurse practitioner. Doctors simply don't have a 45 minute block to take your medical history and give you pregnancy basics. My advice is to come with a list of questions. My NP rushed my appointment because it was a second pregnancy. I also had the unusual situation that I had my first Ultrasound before my official first pregnancy appointment.

Starting at week 9 my symptoms (besides the relentless exhaustion) kicked in. Everything you read is true. Morning Sickness can happen at any time of the day. Mine was worst at night. You really do need to eat frequent small meals and it's a good idea to keep crackers next to your bed. I also struggled with headaches and dizziness. Perhaps worst of all is the BLOAT. It is painful and can be a precursor to intestinal issues in the coming days. Progesterone actually slows down your digestion so that you body can absorb maximum nutrients. Unfortunately this can lead to constipation and bloating. Last pregnancy I had horrible heartburn. Luckily this time around I haven't really had trouble.

No wonder my pants were tight!

Month 3 (week 10 - 13)

Week 10 and 11 continued on with nausea and general pregnancy ickiness. Since my last pregnancy ended around 11/12 weeks it was a time of high stress. At my 8 week ultra sounds they discovered two cysts on my ovaries (most likely from clomid). They required a follow-up which was actually great because it meant that I got to go into Maternal Fetal Medicine for level 2 ultrasound.

This was the most stressed I have been thus far. Here I was back in the same same doctor's office, at the same point in my pregnancy, in the exact same room. This time Hubby was at my side. I squeezed his hand and prepared for the worst. The wand touched my belly and BAM wild crazy baby dancing away. No doubt there. Instant relief ( and a few tears). The rest of the appointment I was on cloud 9. (Which was extra great because it was our second anniversary!) We followed up with an NT scan and they took blood for a Sequential Screening. These are two tests that I opted out of last time but I thought might provide some peace of mind this time. All in all I was a happy Momma!

Which brings me to this week. I had my first extra crazy pregnant lady freak-out. I lost control over my emotions. It was bananas. (B-A-N-A-N-A-S!) Customer Service reps- you folks can make or break me. After an hour and half I just had no cool left and when I was treated like a child, I broke and acted like one. The worst part is you can see it coming....like oh no...I'm gunna freak out...crap I'm freaking out...dear lord I CANT STOP FREAKING OUT. Seriously it was ugly and embarrassing. I knew that pregnancy could cause you to be more emotional. I mean I lost it during a Disney commercial and just wept big fat beautiful tears. But what I did not know was that once you break that so angry you're crying point it is really hard to come back from. So...beware I guess?

On to the second trimester! woo!

I'm back and I'm making a human!

At last...

Alright friends so I am sure that my sudden and lengthy absence was a pretty big clue that we had something cooking. I knew we weren't fooling anyone but it seemed important to play this one pretty close to the chest. So here is a quick recap of the last 3 months. I promise to give more detail in later posts! ( Like registry craziness, morning sickness, and crying during Disney commercials) 

December:

You saw on my previous post that the doctor called with great test results. My progesterone was high enough to support pregnancy and I was just playing the waiting game to see if implantation was successful. 

So I was waiting.....

And waiting.....

And waiting.....

And then finally...

YAY! This test was taken 15DPO!

So finally, just a few days before Christmas, we had confirmation that implantation was successful and an embryo was chugging along. Now if you are wondering about 15DPO, that means that it was 15 days past my estimated ovulation date or 1 day after AF's (Aunt Flow's) expected arrival. Why is this significant? Well those fancy $20 test claim to detect pregnancy as early as 6 days before AF. LIES! So do yourself (and your wallet) a favor and don't keep tests in your house. Wait until you are late and then go buy one. I wasted a bunch of time, money, and stress trying to confirm pregnancy too soon. 

January:

My first appointment wasn't until 8 weeks. This appointment was terrible.  They were training a new tech and she had a bunch of difficulty entering my information into the system. They couldn't detect a heartbeat. I was given paperwork for an ultra sound and made an appointment for the very next day. Heart rate was confirmed at 169 BPM.

That floating ball is a yolk sac...not a disembodied head (FYI)

Because of the issues with the Tech entering information incorrectly, I actually had to go in again a few days later. The information in the system was a mix of my past pregnancy and my current pregnancy which was less than helpful for my doctors. At the second appointment the doctor informed me that I had a cyst on each of my ovaries. Not great news but no terrible. It also meant that I got to go in to Maternal Fetal Medicine at 12 weeks for a follow up. (Yay extra Ultrasounds!)

February: 

We scheduled my 12 weeks ultrasound on our 2 year anniversary. (In hindsight not the best idea because I was terrified we would get bad news and ruin our day) We go great news and it made our day even more special. The cysts are almost completely gone (most likely they were a result of extended clomid use) AND we have a crazy active beautiful little baby. 

Already sucking his/her thumb!

So our little Spud (yes, I call the baby Spud...look at that first ultrasound and tell me you don't see a potato) is crazy active (definitely my husband's child). Our amazing tech had to poke my belly to get the baby to flip the right way. Every time she tried to take a picture BAM flipped again. Waving arms and kicking legs made for some blurry pictures but they were able to get a good NT measurement. (This measurement helps identify higher chances for chromosomal conditions including Down syndrome.) We are also doing some sequential testing and clotting testing. It is recommended that expectant mothers under go clotting testing if they ever experienced a fetal demise after movement and heartbeat is confirmed. Luckily even if you test positive the treatment is simply a baby aspirin. 

The appointment went very well although we discovered that some of the tests we requested from the previous pregnancy were never completed. We will follow up with some additional blood tests in March and the 20 week ultrasound in April. 

Today:

So that is where we are! Now that we reached 12 weeks our chances of miscarriage are down to 1%. My doctor felt that it was total reasonable to be excited and share our news. Our announcement went live yesterday on our second anniversary. I finally feel like it's real :)

Here is our announcement, just in case you missed it!

All I want for Christmas....

Ok so! This is the longest TWW (Two Week Wait) of my life. What is the TWW you ask? Allow me to explain...

The TWW is the Luteal Phase. "The luteal phase is one stage of the menstrual cycle. It occurs after ovulation (when the ovaries release an egg) and before your period starts. During this phase, the lining of your uterus normally becomes thicker to prepare for a possible pregnancy."- Web MD

I really should have pursued being a health teacher....

Basically the Luteal phase is the time between the end of your fertile window and the beginning of your next cycle. This is when women start symptom watching, CM checking, and peeing on sticks. The first week is pretty useless since there is no way you could possibly be pregnant that soon. But the second week, oh that's when I get the crazies.

So I am extra crazy this month. Why you ask? Well it's for many reasons....

1. It's the holidays. Cute babies in Christmas outfits, kids waiting for Santa, family and love every where....you get the picture.  But just in case you don't....here's one!

2. We were going to do pregnancy announcements as our Christmas card.

3. The test results for my progesterone levels are...GREAT. In fact, it's the same exact level as when I conceived in May.

So I realize the image is hard to read, but it shows on Oct 16th my level was 16.2 and as of Dec 11th my level was 26.2. (I missed my test in November, but I can tell you that I am usually right around 15 -16) So what does "21" mean? What is going on? So really all this means is that on day 21 there was likely a fertilized egg hanging out. The body amps up its progesterone levels to prepare for implantation. Implantation occurs 6-8 days after conception. (right around that 21 day test) See it's starting to come together right?

So my doctor called to say that my body is preparing itself for pregnancy. Her exact words were "This could be the month." NOW WAIT. Do not ...I repeat... DO NOT get excited. (I know it's super hard) A million things could happen that could prevent an embryo from implanting. Including the fact that it may not even be an embryo. It could implant wrong, it could stop dividing, it could have incorrect genetic material, or even no genetic material. If any of thses cases is true, there would be no pregnancy. (...and believe me the list of issues goes on! Remember that even when everything goes right there is only a 20% chance of achieving pregnancy each cycle)

Fertilized eggs that do not implant correctly are often called "chemical pregnancies" because your body was chemically all geared up and ready, but something went wrong in the process. Basically, it is the earliest form of miscarriage and it is very common. Usually women are not aware as it happen so early that their cycle can remain unchanged. Chemical pregnancies are "on the rise" as more and more women are taking a proactive approach to their fertility. In reality they really aren't "on the rise" it's just that more women are aware of them than ever before. 

So now what?

PANIC. Just kidding. Please don't. Now because I am a crazy person, I took a HPT. (POAS addict remember?!)  That was a really dumb idea....of course it was negative. I have a whole week left to wait...DUH!

So why the wait? If there is an implanted egg in there why cant I know now?  Well.....because....SCIENCE...

OK so pregnancy test are checking your HCG levels. HCG is a rapidly producing hormone that is released during pregnancy and your body begins to develop this hormone after your egg implants and the placenta begins to form. HCG doubles every 2-3 days. Remember in science class when you would use Litmus paper to check acids and bases? It's the same idea for checking the chemicals in your pool. This may look familar...

The liquid reacts to the paper and bam results! Well if your liquid only has a very small amount of acid or base you might get neutral result. This is exactly what happens with pregnancy tests. A negative pregnancy test is essentially just a neutral result. This is why pregnancy tests come with a base line. The base line lets you know that the test is working and hasn't been compromised. It also gives you something to compare a result to. (WOOOO SCIENCE)

So, in order for a pregnancy test to pick up the HCG there has to be enough present to see the result. This is why many brands recommend taking the test in the morning when you've been holding your pee. It's super gross but a more concentrated urine will often show a stronger result.

HPTs , at the earliest begin detecting pregnancy at 20mIU. This level would allow you to test before your missed period. These highly sensitive tests are usually marked "early detection" where as some drug store brands have very low sensitivity coming in at 100mIU.

I took a FRER (First Response Early Results). The forum ladies sing it praises daily. FRERs have a sensitivity of 25mIU, which is really good compared to the 50mIU in my beloved dollar store brand. (BTW- walgreens brand is 100mIU....but their digital is 50mIU...buyer beware)

So if you are googling around you will see that most doctors and even test companies tell you to wait until a day after your missed period for 99% accuracy.  Prior to that day it is possible to get a false negative. Since I took my test 7 days early, (I told myself it was only 6 because I found out the day before my missed period last time) I am hoping it was a false negative which is likely since I was an idiot. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!

Anyway so that is where I am. It is going to be a very long week! Fingers crossed and no more tests!

Bonus Post for December! (WTF is happening here?)

Ok so, weird things are happening and I have to vent...

I started my third cycle of clomid (after miscarriage) on CD5. I do days 5-9. I know lots of folks do days 3-7. It's up to your doctor when you do your dosage and how much your dosage is. My dosage is very low because I am ovulating so why have increased symptoms and complications. (Plus increased probability of twins). So I am all for the treatment plan I am currently on...but then this happened...

What?! What?! What is this?! Ovulating on CD 11? I think not. That is ridiculous, right? Now it is true that clomid makes you ovulate early. When I conceived in May, based on my due date, I ovulated a day earlier than I thought. But this would be super early. So let's break this down...

CBFM (Clear Blue Fertility Monitor): CD 11
PT (Period Tracker): CD 15
Ovia: CD 16

Does anyone else think PT and Ovia are too late? In May we pinpointed CD 13 and CD 14 is the average. But CBFM looks too early too.

So of course I hit the internet and I am spinning down the rabbit hole that is fertility forums. Lot's of women seem to have the same issue. It could be a number of things. Maybe I was ovulating naturally and the drug kicked it into high gear or maybe I was taking the clomid later in the day so its closer to CD 6 - 11 so my monitor picked up the clomid. Anyway long story short, there is no way to tell but I did find this handy-dandy flow chart.

So this is for folks doing IVF or IUI. So I am using this as my guide. They have clomid starting CD 5 and BD (baby dancing) CD 10 - 14. But, PT and Ovia are saying CD 15 or CD 16. So maybe the monitor was closer to the truth? I guess we will find out based on the CD 21 progesterone test which is scheduled for Friday because Day 21 is actually a Saturday and you know what happened last time day 21 landed on a Saturday.


In the mean time I am researching into the difference between taking clomid on CD 3-7 and CD 5-9. So far the main response I am seeing is that CD 3-7 produces multiple eggs ( thus multiple chances) where as CD 5-9 produces one super-egg. I havn't found any science to back up this claim so I am not fully convinced that it is true. Back to the internet rabbit hole I go!

aww, isn't he cute!